I’m lucky enough to have so many people that care about me and want to take this pain away. They have ideas of how to feel better and things I should do and say that will help take away this bountiful sadness. One thing I’m told repeatedly is to tell him everything I would want him to know. Don’t let any stray thought go. Let him know how much you care and you’ll miss him and pour out your heart. But how cruel can you be? The man is laying here dying, unable to do a single thing and you’re telling him that his dying is hurting you? Of course it’s hurting you! Of course you love him and now you’re just reminding him that he’s leaving someone that loves him! Truly what good does this do.
But this morning I got advice from someone who recently lost her dad and while I was prepared to slough it off with the rest of the crap advice I’d been getting she gave the best piece of advice I could have ever hoped to receive. She told me to let him know that I will be ok. So. Simple. I will be ok. The woman he created is strong enough to get through this. The woman he created will keep his memory alive and will love his family for him and will love him forever but she. will. be. ok. Because like he taught me, pain is there for a reason. It’s mean to remind you to be careful, that there is something wrong, and to respect it so it can heal. And I’ll do just that.